I got up a few hours later and went downstairs for breakfast, after a quick call in to work to call in sick again. I spoke to the call flow department, who deal with that sort of thing. They moaned about how there were a number of people calling in sick today. It seems the call centre industry, particularly in the directory enquiries subsector, has a lot of problems with staff retention and attendance, but I was pulling a genuine sickie this time, the hangover saw to that. I downed a gallon of coffee, put on my sunglasses and headed back to Tory HQ for another day of induction for A-List candidates.
It started well; and by lunchtime I felt assured of success. We headed over to the Houses of Parliament for lunch. I got my lunch (I was going to have a fry up to get over the hangover, but I felt sick, so had a banana fruit salad instead), and as we were queuing up to pay, an elderly and seemingly doddery and senile man was arguing with the cashier over the price of a cup of tea. He kept trying to pay one penny more. "That's Ming Campbell, leader of the Liberal Democrats," my Conservative colleague whispered to me. "This is where he's been hiding out all summer. Poor chap, he's had nowhere else to go. All on his own. He hasn't said a thing for months until just now."
The argument continued, until Ming finally lost it. "Do you know who I am?" he shouted.
"No," replied the cashier, quick as a flash, "and neither do the rest of the country!"
Nice retort. Oh, how I laughed. I would say the old ones are the best, but that's not true in Ming Campbell's case.
The afternoon went well, and I have to tell you, it was brilliant! And the best bit? I am now an A-List candidate! Must go now, I've been invited the Miss Tory T-Shirt competition hosted by the London West Conservative Bestiary tonight as a judge.