I'm quite excited at the moment, because as a monkey new to the Internet, I'm already making friends! I'd love to get more involved with the Tories, as they seem such a friendly bunch. I've always wanted to be a Tory since I escaped from the zoo during the General election in 2005, and a kindly old lady wearing a blue rosette threw me a banana. What kindness was this? It was kindness to help people progress, without them scrounging off the state, small government, low taxes, big bananas. I was in love, and infatuated with this political movement.
That brings me on to my next thought: there are whispers we might be heading for an early general election. That would be so exciting, because I would love to stand and do my bit for the party I have come to love and helped me in my early days of freedom. A couple of things stand in my way though.
Firstly, I'm not yet a member of the Tory Party. I'll have to rectify that with a letter to that nice Mr. David Cameron.
Secondly, once in, I'd need to get selected in a good seat. That'll be difficult.
Thirdly, I'm not actually sure if I'm registered to vote. There may be a few issues, what with me having escaped from the zoo, as who knows? I might even be down on the Home Office's books as an escapee, or an illegal immigrant!
Finally, I need to find a nice lady to be my life partner and feed me bananas all day. But who would care for a conservative monkey?
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"Who would care for a conservative monkey?"
Don't despair my little Tory monkey, I am sure there is a lovely tory monkey loving mate for you out there somewhere. For starters, I suggest you check out:
http://monkeypersonals.com/
I really think if you advertised there you would find the right monkey or monkey loving lady.
Oh, and if David Cameron doesn't let you join the Party, tell him to behave himself and stop monkeying around.
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