I'm quite excited at the moment, because as a monkey new to the Internet, I'm already making friends! I'd love to get more involved with the Tories, as they seem such a friendly bunch. I've always wanted to be a Tory since I escaped from the zoo during the General election in 2005, and a kindly old lady wearing a blue rosette threw me a banana. What kindness was this? It was kindness to help people progress, without them scrounging off the state, small government, low taxes, big bananas. I was in love, and infatuated with this political movement.
That brings me on to my next thought: there are whispers we might be heading for an early general election. That would be so exciting, because I would love to stand and do my bit for the party I have come to love and helped me in my early days of freedom. A couple of things stand in my way though.
Firstly, I'm not yet a member of the Tory Party. I'll have to rectify that with a letter to that nice Mr. David Cameron.
Secondly, once in, I'd need to get selected in a good seat. That'll be difficult.
Thirdly, I'm not actually sure if I'm registered to vote. There may be a few issues, what with me having escaped from the zoo, as who knows? I might even be down on the Home Office's books as an escapee, or an illegal immigrant!
Finally, I need to find a nice lady to be my life partner and feed me bananas all day. But who would care for a conservative monkey?